I wish there was a place for me where i could speak up and unveil all my secrets, all the skeletons i’ve kept hidden in my closet. I want to tell everything, i want to share all the scars, and smiles, genuine and fake ones, with someone. but we all fear it, i fear of being judged. for we live in that community. people talk. i am not a good girl. whispers and allegations will fly around me if i spill everything. as indifferent as i would like to be, i am not, no matter how frequent i repeatedly tell myself that i don’t care. i do care. and i’m afraid.
people say some things are better kept unsaid.
but i so badly want to tell them how i have become the girl i am now. what made me, me. why i can’t wash all the thoughts away after whole 3 years. why i can’t wipe off the face painted and engraved in my head. why i keep my heart in a steel box and locked it away.
i want to tell you, or you, or you, all my stories, because i need to know, what should i do now. how should i save myself?
My most favourite dress from 2013 AMAs is definitely Ke$ha in her Michael Costello. and oh the haiirrrr…i addoorreee the hair!!!!
how do you see the world?
which one do you prefer?
How often do you go and sit under your writing desk with a cigarette in your hand as Barbarossa’s Stones plays on repeat on your macbook?
When you were little, how many of you envisioned the lives you thought you were going to have when you’ve grown up?
How many of you actually are living them?
Do you have regrets?
Do you feel like the whole universe is turning her back on you? and you’re not even a so-called self-searching teenager.
Have you ever had so many losses that you just can’t deal with any more that you decided to give up and settle down with just about anything?
How many of you deleted your tumblr posts because you thought some people might not approve it but later shout at yourself for being silly enough to even care about that?
Have you ever felt the rush of envy to that crazy homeless toothless man wandering around talking to strangers as if he knew them for centuries when you yourself got your tongue stolen by the cat when you don’t want to be alone for the night?
Do you pretend to be oblivious to a silly excuse,i.e. the need to use your bathroom after a night out is totally utterly bollocks?
and afterwards came, would you like to have some coffee?
Are you tired of trying to turn yourself into that person everyone else wants you to be when eventually it ended up eating and gnawing yourself slowly from the inside?
Do you struggle each day not to reach out for that bottle of pills?
Do you wish for an airplane crash?
Pinback - Good to sea.
because good music is good.
Chanel Iman, VMAs 2013 red carpet. with this, i hereby announce that i am helplessly in love with this siren. my drool over the dress especially, puddles.
raya. forgiveness. 2013.
i’m going to live with uncertainties for the next 3-5 months.
i can hear the sound of the waves.
taken with disderi 3 lens robot. film: lomography redscale
it’s been ninety-one days. and all i feel like is crying.
Been quite some time since i last posted my own work here. Taken at Ao Nang beach, Krabi last year, with my 3 lens disderi robot, using a redscale film. damn i miss Krabi… :(
redredredredREDredred!! so i decided to give it a try and am insane about how sexy it looks. For a start, I went and get Revlon Suede in 095. But i will still get my hands on MAC red.
THIS. do i dare yet?
Prolly will go for the MAC Red.